WHOSE HUDUD- GOD or MEN?

IF we were to believe everything the politicians are saying about hudud, we would come to three conclusions. One, that implementing the punishments prescribed under hudud is divine law that no Muslim can question, and hence is inevitable. Two, that hudud cannot be implemented in Malaysia because of the Federal Constitution and our multi-cultural composition. And three, non-Muslims have no business worrying about this Islamic penal code.

Are any of these assumptions about hudud accurate? Beyond that, what are the proclamations by PAS, Umno and Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR) politicians regarding hudud really all about?


When a Muslim says he or she has to uphold hudud one needs to ask which hudud do they mean? The truth is, hudud as we know it today is human-made and therefore changeable and contestable.
For example, how many of us know that the Quran prescribes punishment for only four types of crimes — theft, robbery, adultery and slanderous accusation of adultery? And that classical jurists, i.e. men, expanded it to six, and in the 2002 Terengganu hudud and qisas legislation, it was expanded, again by men, to seven.

Three crimes that are today punishable under hudud — apostasy, consumption of alcohol and treason/armed rebellion — are not provided for under hudud in the Quran. Neither is the punishment of stoning for adulterers prescribed in the Quran. And neither, by the way, is death for apostasy.
What else about hudud as we know it today is based on human understanding and interpretation, and not divine authority? The requirement of at least four witnesses in a rape case was to protect women from slander and accusations of adultery, not to protect men from rape charges.

The Quranic verse¸  Surah An Nur 24.4, referring to the need for four witnesses stipulates this: “And those who launch a charge against chaste women, and produce not four witnesses (to support their allegations) – flog them with eighty stripes and reject their evidence ever after; for such men are wicked transgressors.” And so an injunction that was originally meant to protect women has been distorted, through human agency, into one where men are protected from accusations of rape.

Sisters in Islam (SIS) has noted that the hudud enactment that disqualifies women as witnesses also has no precedence in the time of the Prophet who, in fact, accepted women’s testimony as valid and legitimate.

Clearly, so much of hudud as we know it today is not divine and runs contrary to the Quran and Hadith because of flawed human interpretation. And yet, Muslims and non-Muslims in Malaysia are being told, no less by the Opposition Leader, that Muslims cannot but adhere to the implementation of hudud in Malaysia.

When politicians such as Deputy Prime Minister and Pakatan Rakyat de facto leader  assure Malaysians that hudud cannot be implemented because of the federal constitution, should we feel secure?

I don’t see any reason to be assured. Because what they are really saying — and it’s apparent in the qualifications they make — is that at some point in time, Malaysia could be ready for hudud to be implemented. After all, the  federal constitution can be amended. Indeed, it has been amended more frequently than the much older American constitution.

Politicians from both coalitions are also fond of saying that our multi-racial and multi-religious composition makes it untenable to implement hudud. At the same time, however, we’re hearing that the justification for implementing hudud in Kelantan is because most Muslims there want it.

Since Malaysia is a Muslim-majority country, isn’t it conceivable that the argument will one day, too, be made that the majority of citizens want hudud implemented nationwide? After all, non-Muslims in Malaysia have already been told they can’t use “Allah” and can’t eat publicly during Ramadhan and movies about pigs have been banned because of Muslim sensitivities.

Kelantan Menteri Besar  has told non-Muslims to stop making a fuss over hudud because it does not affect them. Catholic Bishop  has a similarly disturbing position. He believes Muslims in Kelantan should be allowed to implement syariah so long as non-Muslims are not affected.
The assumption that non Muslims will not be affected is a flawed one. We should understand by now that implementing syariah, including hudud, indicates growing theocratic tendencies in government.

And the problem with any theocracy — whether an Islamic, Christian or Hindu state — is that human-made laws are decreed to be unchallengeable and unchangeable because they are purportedly from God. It is for this reason that respected Muslim scholars  have argued that any Islamic state, since the Prophet, is undemocratic.

If we accept that one should remain silent because one is unaffected, then this is what we are really saying: That men should remain silent when women are discriminated against, Malaysians should not speak up when the Palestenians suffer aggression, and those of us who live outside of Bakun should not protest a mega-project that stripped away indigenous land rights.

If hudud as we know it today is flawed, and results in injustices against Muslims, it would be incumbent on justice- and peace-loving non-Muslims to make a fuss. It would also be well within all citizens’ rights to determine whether we want our government —  at state or federal levels — to wield almighty and divine authority over us.


What’s missing from the political rhetoric about hudud is that the Quran provides for repentance and reform for the four crimes it names under hudud. Indeed, forgiveness, mercy and compassion are a recurring and constant theme in the Quran. And yet current provisions under hudud laws do not provide for repentance, forgiveness and reformation.

SIS also points to a hadith that says, “Avert the hudud from being inflicted as much as you can, and whenever you find a way for a release (of a defendant), go through it, since it is better for one who rules to make a mistake in acquitting, than to make it in punishment.” Hence, it is accepted Islamic doctrine that it is better for many guilty persons to go free than for one innocent person to be wrongfully convicted.

And yet, this critical aspect about Islam and hudud is nowhere to be found in the rhetoric of PAS, Umno or PKR politicians. What a shame. Want to know what would be a bigger shame? If all of us allowed these politicians to get away with using Islam as the ball they can toss about in the games they play.

http://www.thenutgraph.com/whose-hudud/

WHY THE PEACEFUL ASSEMBLY BILL IS A PILE OF BS?

Because this is going to impact your everyday lives.
ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT GIVE A CRAP ABOUT POLITICS UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE AND END UP IN JAIL ALL BECAUSE THEY WERE CARRYING A PAIR OF CHOPSTICKS!

To put the Peaceful Assembly Bill (PAB) bluntly, I see the rights to assembly as being determined 100% by the police on who and where can do what and when. Or to put it in a Malaysian way, if the police were to wonder around "doing their everyday job", all they have to do is simply approach a gang of people and ask if they have the appropriate "approval" or not. If no, then you better prepare some duit kopi or go to court and pay up to RM20,000.

Our Home Minister, Hishammuddin, in his speech, announced on public television 2 (maybe 3) days ago, that "... dengan akta baru, awak kena faham, tak perlu permit pun! Perlu maklum saja kepada pihak berkuasa! Dan bukan tak ada sekatan kepada perhimpunan malah mereka membenarkan perhimpunan diadakan."
(... with the new law, you have to understand that the need for a permit is no longer needed! You just have to tell the right authorities only! There will be no roadblocks (I think this was what he was trying to say, because in BM, it says there is roadblock) and the assembly will also be approved.)
http://www.youtube.com/user/malaysiakini?feature=grec_index#p/u/10/xo1MVCiGAj8

Sounds good right? But wait, there is a catch. According to Subsection 9(1), we must inform the right authorities 30 days prior to the event! By the way, Myanmar just gave out a similar assembly bill recently but it only requires 5 days ! Furthermore, IF the person went against the 30 day rule, he is LIABLE to a fine of up to RM10,000 (Subsection 9(5)).

In lay men’s term, does this mean that if you want to go shopping with a group of friends, you MUST inform the right authorities 30days in advance? Because if this is true, and if a police ever does find out that you did not notify them of your “assembly”, you WILL be liable to a painful fine of up to RM10,000.Amazing, aint it?

“Fortunately”, subsection 9(2)(b) allows us to have certain assemblies without having the need to inform the authorities. So maybe we actually CAN have SOME assemblies without notifying the authorities (Religious, funeral, wedding, open houses during festivities, family gatherings, family day and general meetings of societies or associations). But WAIT! Because according to the Right to Assemble Peaceably and Without Arms, there ARE still some terms and conditions that must be fulfilled!

For example, apparently, according to subsection 4(1)(a) that says that the right to assemble shall not extend to non-citizens, if we were to ever hold an assembly that is allowed within the Third Schedule (lets say a funeral), but a spouse or friend or family friend who is NOT a Malaysian citizen but also attended the funeral, does this then mean that the organizer is liable to a fine of up to RM10,000?

More interestingly, family gatherings are (PAB is ambiguous in so many ways so please check it up and correct me on this part if I am wrong) constricted to FAMILIES ONLY. Hence the term, FAMILY gathering. I believe outsiders in your family gathering will be deem it an illegal assembly and NOT a family gathering unless given 30days notice and is approved. Actually, to be more specific, it should be constricted to family members who are MALAYSIAN CITIZENS! So if one day you get caught in a family gathering because a non-family member (your maid for example, or even your boy/girlfriend for that matter because HE/SHE IS NOT YOUR FAMILY) is there, then if I am right, by law, you are liable to a fine of up to RM10,000 right?

Oh and one more thing, is your maid a Malaysian citizen? Hm...

I would like to present another scenario. What if I would like to invite a friend? Say my boyfriend for this example. By PAB section 19, I am considered an organizer right? And if my boyfriend ever wants to invite his siblings, cousins and what not either by word of mouth, FB, sms etc, he too will be deemed as an organizer will he not? (And the cycle of organizers-to-be slowly increases when they too starts inviting their circle of friends) This is because according to section 19, any person who initiates, leads, promotes, sponsors, holds or supervises the assembly, or invites or recruits participants or speakers for the assembly, shall be deemed to be the organizer of the assembly. And if the assembly is an illegal one, then ALL ORGANIZERS will be fined up to RM10,000 according to subsection 4(3) or up to RM20,000 according to subsection 4(4) if an organizer brings a child (younger than 15). Sounds heavy to me. Is this how it will happen if PAB gets passed on Monday?

To make matters even more laughable, EVERY CHINESE during their lunch or dinner with their family members (I think this is considered as a family gathering) must all start eating with fork and spoon because Arms as defined by PAB include sticks. Then again, I am not sure if fork can be categorized under Arms because it does say that anything that can be used to incite fear or cause injury is considered Arms. What say you about this scenario?
(By the way, Arms are defined by this bill as firearm, ammunition, explosive, corrosive, injurious or obnovious substance, STICK, stone, or ANY WEAPON OR OBJECT, WHICH BY ITS NATURE CAN BE USED TO INCITE FEAR OR CAUSE INJURY TO PERSON, OR DAMAGE TO PROPERTY.)

By the way, before I forget, assembly is defined by PAB as gatherings of the public, outdoors or indoors and it does not matter if the venue is ordinarily open to the public or if it is private venue. (WOW)

By this definition, does this mean no more sleepovers, no more straight As celebration and also, no more cyber cafes playing Call of Duty anymore with your friends? Especially for those under 21 because no one under 21 can assemble in relation to the organization of an assembly according to Subsection 4(1)(d). Tough being a Malaysian aint it? Fortunately the government was fair enough to not exclude school assemblies in PAB and hence by "law", allows everyone under 21 to also not attend any school assemblies anymore unless the school actually gives the government a 30 day notice.

After much hoo-hahs about assemblies, lets look at places where we can organize an assembly IF we ever want to assemble and granted that we CAN assemble. Well, according to subsection 4(1)(b) and the First Schedule, the prohibited places are within 50 metres from these places:

Damns, reservoirs and water catchment areas
Water treatment plants
Electricity generating stations
Petrol stations
Hospitals
Fire stations
Airports
Failways, I mean Railways
Land public transport terminals
Ports, canals, docks, wharves, piers, bridges and marinas
Places of worship
Kindergartens and schools

NOTE : Our forest and jungles are considered water catchment areas. If anyone manages to find a place to assemble, please let me know =)

I think what this bill is trying to say is that although the Third Schedule allows us to attend religious assemblies, we are not allowed to do so in any places of worship. If you want to buy a new house, and if you EVER want to have an open house for it (which is basically an assembly), you should NEVER buy a house that is within 50 metre radius of any schools, kindergartens, land public transport terminals including bus or taxi stands and also railways. OMG! House prices within these areas are gonna be dirt cheap because NOBODY (unless you are a loner and hates assemblies) is ever going to ever buy it! Lastly, if the school EVER DOES give the police a 30 day notice that it would like to have a morning assembly, they CANNOT do it within 50 metre radius of any kindergartens and schools. Nice.

So what will happen if anyone ever does oppose the police because of their daily assembly? Lets use an example. Imagine a group of aunties with lots of shopping items ranging from clothes to cutlery and/or kitchen wares (remember the chopstick story above?) to high heels. Assuming that they want to catch a cab and have to go to a taxi stand which technically according to PAB, they ARE carrying arms, what will happen to them? Well, the police officer (under subsection 21(2)), in exercising the power to disperse an assembly under this section, MAY USE ALL REASONABLE FORCE after...after...oh wait, NO WARNINGS NEEDED. Does this means that those aunties are subject to tear gas, water cannons, batons, bazookas and what not if the police thinks that they are “within reasonable force”?

OK! So when Najib said he was going to give birth to the BEST democracy in the world in Malaysia, I am pretty sure he means it with all his heart because this is seriously the BEST law in the world and is only suitable for the BEST democratic country. And when Hisham said "...malah mereka membenarkan perhimpunan diadakan", he too actually mean it with all his heart, just that we must fulfill some of his terms and conditions before we can have an assembly. By Monday, which is the third hearing, IF the law is passed, we can expect to see no more aunties in Malaysia and yes, Malaysia can indeed be more peaceful with the very peaceful Peaceful Assembly Bill.

Good job PM. Good goddamn job indeed!

CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY

PPSMI: ARE WE GONNA STAND UP FOR OUR RIGHTS?

As far as I remember, 2 reasons given by our Education Minister to scrap PPSMI. According to the YB,

(1) our teachers aren't ready. Many teachers have problem conversing in English. Even after taking measures such as sending the teachers for English courses, etc, the problem still remain unsolved. So are we scrapping PPSMI because our educators are not up to the standard? Are we lowering the standard of our education simply because we do not have capable educators? What will happen to our new generation if we deny their rights to get the best education as a result of this? Shouldnt we put in more effort to ensure we have good educators instead of chickening out?

(2)the issue of kedaulatan Bahasa Melayu. Those who came up with PPSMI must have had a good damn reason to introduce PPSMI. How does the issue of kedaulatan Bahasa Melayu out-weigh those reasons? If the previous Education Minister thinks it is the best for the students to learn Science and Math in English, while our current minister thinks its best done in national language, who is right and who is wrong? Are we going to change our education system every time we have new Education Minister? We need a standardised system not a rojak system which confuses our students. Our old generation went to English schools and see how fluent they speak in Bahasa Malaysia, isnt this a good proof that learning certain subjects in English isnt going to 'jatuhkan martabat Bahasa Melayu'?

Do you know that each students have rights to get schooling in their own mother tongues? According to the UN Charter, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and Unesco, they do! Those who habitually speak English at home have a right as well to get schooling in that language.
And that goes as well for those who speak any number of other tongues at home in Malaysia, namely, Kadazandusun, Bajau, Suluk, Filipino, Bugis and Chinese in Sabah; Iban, Bidayuh, Melanau, Orang Ulu, Sarawak Malay and Chinese in Sarawak; Orang Asli, Thai, Portuguese, Bahasa Melayu, Tamil and Chinese in Peninsular Malaysia. But to make it compulsory for all to get schooling in Bahasa Melayu which is the mother tongue of the Malays means denying the rights of other Malaysians.

NOTE TO REMEMBER: All Malaysians have the right to get schooling in their mother tongues! So are we gonna stand up for our rights?

LAUGH OUT LOUD! -Two clever nuns -

There are 2 nuns.One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to f*** us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

A little while later..

M: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, smack your head 2 times! LOL!!

DECLARING SUPPORT FOR SEKSUALITI MERDEKA

KUALA LUMPUR: Police have banned Seksualiti Merdeka with immediate effect, sparking a heated debate among supporters and detractors of the movement that fights for freedom of sexual orientation and gender identity.
While some groups felt that the ban was another case of censorship in Malaysia, others were of the view that their religion did not condone same-sex relationships.
In announcing the ban, Deputy Inspector-General of Police Datuk Seri Khalid Abu Bakar said: “We are not against the people's right to freedom of speech or human rights.
“However, if the event creates uneasiness among the vast majority of the population, it may result in disharmony, enmity and threaten public order.”

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=%2F2011%2F11%2F4%2Fnation%2F9835994&sec=nation

I wholeheartedly support the right of each and every one of us to live our lives however we choose to live as long as it does not harm others, be it changing our gender, change our religion, marrying someone of a different faith, having our own sexual preference, etc. No government should tell their people how to live their lives.

The way I see it...if certain group of people decide to change their gender or sexual preference, how does it affect others? Eyesore? U wanna stop others living their life because u hv an eyesore? What if I say I hate seeing skinny people n obese people walking around cos it promotes unhealthy living n it's an eyesore, can we put them all into an institution to ensure they are of normal size before we release them? How can having your own sexual preference become a national agenda? Its not a disease which can be spread around! Just because there are a couple of gays or lesbians walking around doesnt make our young generations wanna be one too! It's the same thing with religion. The govt is so worried with Muslims who convert but its none of their business actually. Even most of our politicians are not living their lives as Muslims. Corruptions, lying, stealing our money, stabbing other behind their back, having sex with women other than their wives, consuming alcohol, their wives n kids not covering aurat n they preach about religion? WTF! So once again I say it loud and clear> Everyone should have the right to live their lives as they wish! 


Our government received few official letters from worldwide Human Right officials condemning the action they took in Bersih issue. It's like our govt doesn't give a shit about what others got to say, their stand is -this is Malaysia, and we r the goddamn govt, so we get to do as we please! But what about all the remarks PM made in CHOGM recently about human rights? U dare to say u support human rights when u don't even know what its about! We can't use the language of our choice in schools. We don't get to convert to any religion we wish. We are not allowed to change our gender as we please. We are not allowed to express ourselves in public. And u talk about supporting human rights? What a pile of crap! 

If u ban Seksualiti Merdeka for religious reasons, then u better cut the crap. There are many things going on in our cabinet n our minister's houses that aren't Islamic. Corruption! Misuse of power! Illegal 2nd or 3rd marriage (in Thai), backstabbing, invading privacy, lying, dishonesty, and I can go on and on and on. Why not address the biggest problem in Malaysia which is also greatly condemn in Islam - corruption? Why pick on the minorities? Tell me what is the percentage of LGBT in Malaysian population? Only bullies exercise their power on those unable to fight them off. Yes, that's precisely what our govt is - BULLIES. Shame on you!

 I believe we have to be good human first before we can be good Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or Christian. Looks like some people not only aren't good Muslims but also not good human being. So how in the hell can they be good leaders?

What is our purpose in this world? Isn't it all a test? A test of how we live our lives? And upon receiving our results, we will be placed in either heaven or hell rite? So we do have to live our life in this world to the best of our ability right? Dont u think accepting one another with no prejudice is one of the test? Do you think discriminating others, denying other's rights will make us pass this test? I believe God is watching our every move, He is not bothered who we are and what race we are or what religion we are because he made all of us. If He wanted all of us to be Islam, He would surely only bless the Muslim couples with children, dont u think? But God is great. It doesnt matter to Him if you call yourself a Muslim or a Christian or a Hindu or a Buddhist because all of us believe in one God and that is Him. We mite call him with different name but He is still the One. Remember, God has no religion. And if He condemns transgenders, lesbians, gays, etc, he wouldnt make those people as they are in the first place. This life is also a test for those people. How they accept themselves and strive to live their lives amingst the society, etc. We have our test and they have theirs. Sadly, many narrow minded people like our govt dont realise that. I think many of them have already booked a spot in hell... :D

FIRST YOU FALL...THEN YOU FLY...

I am a firm believer of positive mindset. I believe we have to let go the memory of yesterday to live a peaceful today in order to have a happy tomorrow. I tell myself everyday how lucky I am to be alive and see all the beautiful things life has to offer. And I am so eager to unlock the mystery of what tomorrow holds for me.

Every now and then in life, we encounter obstacles. Some makes us tremble while some gives us strength and makes us a better person. But to live our life knowing that a happy tomorrow might never arrive is really a challenge.

Positive thinking is indeed something easy to preach. Every self-help book in the bookstore talks about the miracle of healing yourself. But these words of advice are coming from those people who have something to hold on to and to look forward upon. 

What happens if you don’t have a better tomorrow to look forward to? What if you know for certain, this life has nothing better to offer and you are to be in the exact spot as you are now for the rest of your life? How would you ever live your life knowing your future will be as cold as ice? Could anyone ever survive a live full of emotional misery?

Yes they can. I know a person who goes through this ordeal in a daily basis. She often unveils her scarred chest and shows me her broken heart. She speaks of her yesteryears where there were episodes of happiness, success, dream and hope. Then as she wakes up to her current state, tears rolls down her cheek and almost instantly I could feel her pain. But what hurts her the most is knowing there is a dead end in front of her. She is stuck. There is nothing she can do to change her life.

She is not a person who demands much. She is a simple woman who appreciates simple joy in life. But this simple woman has been denied happiness. She lives every moment of life as it comes. “I follow the flow,” that’s what she said with a smile.

As I sip my coffee, I could taste the bitterness in her smile. Having gone through something similar in life, I felt sad for her. No, not sad because she was miserable. I was sad because I realise the woman sitting in front of me is an amazing woman. She is full of warmth. She is kind and gentle to every single soul. She is a dedicated mother and a loving wife. I don’t understand why God is testing someone as beautiful as she?

As my mind was busy finding an answer, a song popped into my head:

“When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.”

And just like that, I found my answer. You see, sometimes in life, we run so fast that we don’t notice anyone running with us until we fall. Lying on the ground we feel we have no strength to get back up. So we force ourselves to keep crawling hoping to reach our destination. We could be far from being close to the finish line. And some of the hardest obstacles in life are still to come, but we can never give up. 

Throughout the rollercoaster of emotions we face in life, we might lose our self identity. We might no longer be the same person we were 10 or 20 years ago. But we are who we are. Remember, we need not be the person we once were – we can be the person we want to be. Yes, the past helps us become who we are today, but it also has no control over how the future unfolds unless you let it.

Too many of us live behind walls of our own design. We hide our pain to rule our lives. And it’s a shame. It’s a waste. And it leads to an unfulfilling, unmeaningful, hollow existence.  I think we can all choose whether or not we allow those walls to stay up, or if we want to break them down and put ourselves out there. You have the choice as to how to take it. Is it going to dictate the way you live your life, or are you going to take control of your own?

 

To my dear friend:
Life is what we make of it. If you have a hole in your heart, don’t let it bleed. Fill it up with the love you have for your own self. To love yourself means to accept yourself as you are and to come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change. It means to have self-respect and unconditional self-acceptance. We spend so much time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching, yearning for that special love. Feeling empty and lost without it, wanting someone to give us love and fill us up. Unfortunately, that’s not usually how life works. When you expect love from an external source, and someone or something does not fulfil your needs, all you get is a heartache. Loving yourself is the only dependable way to create love in your own life.

Remember my dear:

“...first, you jump off the cliff, and you build wings on the way down.”

CRAPPY FATWAS MAKE CRAPPY MUSLIMS

‘Some of them even twist their tongues to stimulate the scripture, to make you think that it is from the scripture when it is not from the scripture, and claim that it is from God, when it is not from God. They invite lies and attribute them to God, knowingly’~Al Imraan 3:78

Malaysia is a country with more than 60% of the population being Muslims. Without the majority of the Muslims realising it, like other Islamic countries, Malaysian democracy and freedom is being threatened by a creeping irrationalism disguised under the name of religion.

Check out these facts taken from http://www.jang.com.pk/
~combined annual GDP of 57 Muslim countries are under $2trillion. Annual GDP of USA alone is more than $10trillion.
~Oil rich Saudi Arabia, UAE, Kuwait, Qatar collectively produces goods and services worth $430billion. Netherlands and Thailand individually has more than that.
~planet’s poorest countries are Islamic countries.
~57 Muslim majority countries have 600 universities for 1.4 billion people. India alone has 8407 universities, USA has 5758.
~Muslims constitute 22% of world population with 1% share of Nobel Prize winners, Jews constitute 0.23% of world population with 22% of Nobel Prize.

SO WHAT WENT WRONG?
In my opinion, it is because we (Muslims) have refused to change with time. This is the problem in Malaysia as well. Being an Islamic country, the Malaysian government believes that religions are written in stone. That is why you can see the religious scholars coming up with strange ideas year after year. Among the fatwas from these ‘genius’ lots are the prohibition of smoking, surrogacy, yoga and the latest being the ‘poco-poco’ dance.
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=%2F2011%2F3%2F31%2Fnation%2F20110331174201&sec=nation

The reason they endorse these fatwas are mind blowing. Poco-poco dance was said to have elements of Christian rituals. I have taken part in this dance before and I can tell you that it doesn’t differ much than line dance. I have no clue what-so-ever how poco-poco seemed like a cult. And the prohibition of yoga is very much like ‘Chipsmore’ to me (kejap ada kejap tak ada). At first, yoga was haram. Then Pak Lah said ‘Tak haram’, and jiffy! Yoga was permissible as long as there’s no mantra involved (guess Jeanne must have been practicing yoga at that time. How I wish Rosmah is kaki poco-poco..hmm but looking at her, I doubt so..LOL)

Smoking was declared as haram because it is dangerous to one’s health. Helloooo... so is McD and KFC! Surrogacy is haram because the child is classified as illegitimate as is not from the wife’s womb. I have to quote my China-mali friend here “Haiyya...die-lah like this!”. Perhaps we should find a time machine and send these bozos back to their years so they can ride on camels and stop making our lives miserable!
Like Malaysia, over the years, there are many absurd fatwas from other Islamic countries as well. A few worth to mention here would be the prohibition of vaccines (yes, vaccines!), football (bodoh kan?), emoticons (kononnya emo=devils!), Mickey Mouse (oh dear!) and Facebook (yes, FB was declared haram in Indon). http://listverse.com/2010/02/25/top-10-bizarre-or-ridiculous-fatwas/

I believe God gave us mind to think. Our ability to think is what differentiates us from other living species. Sadly, we prefer to accept whatever that is spoon fed to us without even challenging our mind to think and rationalize the fatwas. I have witnessed many Muslims who accepts whatever told by these religious scholars or ustazs and ustazahs. Then why do we have the Holy Koran?

Take a look at a few examples of misconceptions among Muslims. Though these are NOT YET fatwas, but they are common beliefs among Muslims, thanks to our ‘pakar agama’:
~Alcohol is haram because it makes you lose your ability to think and make wise judgement. But why is perfume categorised haram as well? You are not going to drink it! (ISLAM ENCOURAGES US TO BE PRESENTABLE, CLEAN AND SMELL GOOD)
~Consuming food while standing is haram. That’s why you can see bunch of people squatting down on a dirty sidewalk to consume food n water. (ISLAM STRESSES ON GOOD HYGIENE PRACTICES)
~You MUST read your prayers before entering toilet and when you leave the toilet. Yet, many forget to wash their hands cleanly after finishing their business (ISLAM EMPHASISES ON CLEANLINESS)
~You mustn’t eat with chopsticks because God gave us hand. Hellooo...can you have your porridge or soup with your hands meh? (ISLAM ENCOURAGES US TO LEARN AND ACQUIRE NEW KNOWLEDGE, TO INVENT THINGS TO MAKE OUR LIVES BETTER)
Sometimes the stupidity in the fatwas are very evident. For example, it is stated clearly in the Koran that ‘riba’ (interest) is haram. But investments in Malaysian banks or KLSE haven’t been declared haram. ‘Gharar’ (uncertainty) is haram but we invest in bank without knowing what our money is going to be used for. That is haram. Few years ago, investments in ASB and ASN was declared not haram. WTH?
Funny thing is, a Muslim working in a bar or pub is declared haram although he doesn’t consume alcohol. Get ready for this- wearing a t-shirt with the word Carlsberg printed on it pun a total no-no. What a joke!!!
So you see, it all boils down to our mentality. If you are so bodoh, you will be in the YES SIR category. But for a true Muslim, you will follow the true path of Islam as stated in the Holy Quran instead of nodding your head to every dumb rulings by those who claim to be the experts.
Remember, a developed nation and a developed society are the one that adapts quickly to the changing environment to continuously make life easier for its people. We don’t have to ride on camels or horses, live in the desert and cover ourselves with a cloak to be true Muslims. God’s religion is very simple, it is us who complicates it.
I had my say. Now I am going to dance poco-poco.....

ACCEPT IT - GUYS ARE DUMB.

For years, scientists have researched the basic differences between human males and human females. While it has been previously declared that what determines gender are the "X" and "Y" chromosomes found in male sperm, this is only partially true. As it turns out, the "Y" chromosome is, in fact, a defective "X" chromosome with one of the legs missing. At first this discovery baffled scientists, but further research has determined that this mysterious missing leg physically manifests itself on the outer body of a male, resulting in what is commonly known as a penis. It has also been determined that human intellect is stored in this part of the chromosome. Once the genetic defect was discovered, scientists were determined to find out what other effects it may have on its victims. Unfortunately, since the penis, although technically part of the male DNA, is on the outside of the body, it deteriorates at the same rate and sometimes faster than the body of the male. This discovery led to scientists quickly finding a way to keep the penis (and thus, the male brain). What is amazing about all this is not the discovery that being male is merely a genetic defect (let's face it, ladies, this comes as no surprise to us), but the massive attempt to cover up the discovery and keep the truth from the general public. I think we have a right to know that the male of the species, is, in fact, genetically inferior to the female of the species. However, I would not be surprised if all traces of this discovery are erased once the scientific community discovers their findings have finally been made public.

 

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/254228/the_y_chromosome_theory_why_women_are_pg2.html?cat=7

LAUGH OUT LOUD: POLITICIANS ARE IDIOTS!

A farmer named Lakbir Singh was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Bolehland when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young Malay man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Lakbir looks at the man, obviously a politician, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The politician parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg,Germany. Within mere seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data is stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Lakbir.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Lakbir says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a graduate from Oxford and work as a politician," says Lakbir.

"Wow! That's correct," "But how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered Lakbir. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, and to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter you are, and you don't know a thing about cows. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog."

LAUGH OUT LOUD: ALL POLITICIAN GO TO HELL!

While walking down the street one day a Malaysian Boleh Minister is tragically hit by a Proton Saga and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by an angel at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says the angel. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We have never had a high official from Malaysia, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one day in heaven. After that you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really, I have made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the Yang Berhormat.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules,” says the angel.

And with that, the angel escorts him to the elevator, and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and dressed in the finest batik there is, eating satay kajang and drinking teh tarik. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then indulge themselves in nasi lemak rendang ayam, roti canai and all sorts of Malaysian flavours there is.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell, and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the doors re-open on heaven, where the angel is waiting for him.

“Now it’ s time to visit heaven.”

So, another 24 hours pass, with the Yang Berhormat joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp, and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the day is gone, and the angel returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The Yang Berhormat reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said this before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think Ai yam better off in hell.”

So the angel escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open, and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The Devil comes over to him, and puts his arm around his shoulder.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the Yang Berhormat, “Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate nasi lemak and roti canai , drank teh tarik, danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage, and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning, just like you did during a Malaysian election…… Today you have voted.”

What a kind and generous government we have!

Malaysian government is indeed kind and generous. When summoned drivers end up not paying their tickets, Malaysian government would come up with discounts to encourage payments. When Immigration officers who were caught with serious charges of human trafficking say they feel sorry for their action, Malaysian government decides to free them and give them a second chance. When 2 Malaysians died while being interrogated by MACC, Malaysian government decided to provide MACC with a budget to enable them reconstruct their interrogation process and system. There are so many similar cases that I can quote here to show you what a wonderful government we have, but I guess you get my point. And now, our good hearted government has done it again - legalizing illegal workers.

What is the point of having a legal system when illegal activities are legalized? How will people respect and look up to law if every wrong-doing is dealt with someway or another instead of punishing the wrong-doers? Law should be enforced, not made flexible as and when our government feels like it.

We have immigration system. There are ways for foreign workers to enter our country legally. We should not change our law just because there are people breaking it. Legalizing the current illegal immigrants will not solve anything as it will just encourage more illigal immigration.

So this year we legalize illegal workers. Do you think that will stop others from entering our country illegally? Then what? Shall we organize an Annual Celebration of Legalizing Illegal Workers at Dataran Merdeka? Perhaps we can have a fun fair too and dont forget to invite the clowns and the kompang boys!

And maybe we could have our senior cabinet ministers join the celebration as well. I am sure they wouldnt want to miss the fun as the biometric system contract worth RM1Billion has been granted to the company belonging to the close relatives of one of them.

With all this taking place, of course-lah the Indons are laughing at us! But do you know what cracks them up when they talk about us? Well, what amuses the Indons the most is the fact that Malaysians are fighting among Malaysians trying to prove who is more Malaysian than the other, while Indonesians are legalized, given job opportunities, freedom to stay/move and best of all presented with MyKad which equalizes their standards with the rest of Malaysians.

But its too late to talk about this as Indons n Banglas n Myanmars are already living among us, having freedom just like us. Perhaps the only thing our government can do is not to legalize anymore illegal workers. And if any foreign workers are caught taking part in any crime or illegal activity, they MUST be deported! I guess it aint easy for our government to even consider this option, not when those proposed to be deported hold a MyKad!

And so....we are doomed!

THE NEW MEANING OF THE WORD 'F.U.C.K'

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English
language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which,
just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be
used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive
(Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really
gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an
adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a
terrific fuck).

It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or
an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be
used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid). As you
can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the
word "fuck"..

Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used
to describe many situations:

1. Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
2. Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer."
3. Resignation "Oh, fuck it!"
4. Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now."
5. Aggression "FUCK YOU!"
6. Disgust "Fuck me."
7. Confusion "What the fuck.......?"
8. Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking business!"
9. Despair "Fucked again..."
10. Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier."
11. Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?"
12. Lost "Where the fuck are we."
13. Disbelief "UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!"
14. Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!"
15. Denial "I didn't fucking do it."
16. Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."
17. Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"
18. Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
19. Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"
20. Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here."
21. Directions "Fuck off."
22. Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?"

It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole."
It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty."
It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"
It can be maternal- "Motherfucker."
It can be political- "Fuck Ibrahim Ali!"

ISLAMIC LAWS? THINK AGAIN...

Many Malaysians do not know that part of the Islamic Family Laws that are supposed to be Syariah Complaint which are in force in this country are actually plagiarized from the British Law. Without realizing it, millions of Muslims in Malaysia have been duped into thinking that somehow all the so called Islamic Family Laws are super duper and heavenly and this and that. Let me give you an example: The Islamic Family Law which Muslims use  in Syariah courts is actually borrowed from the western law. One area that you can check is Section 76 of the Marriage and Divorce Act, which is now reworded and is now Syariah Compliant! What a turn of events!  The point to be made is why create purported religious laws by borrowing from laws which are deemed to be Undang-Undang Kristian when there are Quran verses that are very clear on details about Family Law! This is a typical fate of many islamic countries. They have inherited workable system from their colonial masters, then to overcome the weaknesses in implementing those systems, they have started creating newer religion based on the systems that are flawed from the beginning. Double whammy! This is a clear cut example of what we practice as religion cannot be found in the Quran!

Feels like this song was written specially for me..
Christina Perri - ARMS

I never thought that you would be

the one to hold my heart

but you came around and

you knocked me off the ground

from the start

you put your arms around me 

and I believe that it's easier for you
to let me go

you put your arms around me

and I'm home...

How many times will you let me change my mind

and turn around

I can't decide if I'll let you

save my life or if I'll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls

I hope that you catch me cause I'm already falling

I'll never let a love get so close

you put your arms around me

and I'm home...

The world is coming down on me

and I can't find a reason to be loved

I never wanna leave you 

but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone

you put your arms around me

and I believe it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls

I hope that you catch me cause I'm already falling

I'll never let a love get so close

you put your arms around me

and I'm home...

I tried my best to never let you in

to see the truth

and I've never opened up

I've never truly loved 

till you put your arms around me

and I believe it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls

I hope that you catch me cause I'm already falling

I'll never let a love get so close

you put your arms around me

and I'm home...

you put your arms around me

and I'm home...

This song has been bugging me for weeks. Absolutely love the lyrics. Here's Christina Perri with Jar of Hearts.

I WAS BORN IN 1975

(I recieved this interesting piece via e-mail and thought it's just too cool not to share it here)

In 1975, the world was a different place.
There was no Google yet. Or Yahoo. Or 36ohk6dgmcd1n.yom.mail.yahoo.net, for that matter.

In 1975, the year of your birth, the top selling movie was Jaws. People buying the popcorn in the cinema lobby had glazing eyes when looking at the poster.


Remember, that was before there were DVDs. People were indeed watching movies in the cinema, and not downloading them online. Imagine the packed seats, the laughter, the excitement, the novelty. And mostly all of that without 3D computer effects.
Do you know who won the Oscars that year? The academy award for the best movie went to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. The Oscar for best foreign movie that year went to Dersu Uzala. The top actor was Jack Nicholson for his role as R.P. McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. The top actress was Louise Fletcher for her role as Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. The best director? Milos Forman for One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
In the year 1975, the time when you arrived on this planet, books were still popularly read on paper, not on digital devices. Trees were felled to get the word out.

The number one US bestseller of the time was Ragtime by E. L. Doctorow. Oh, that's many years ago. Have you read that book? Have you heard of it? Look at the cover!


In 1975... Altair 8800 is released, sparking the era of the microcomputer. In relation to the Watergate scandal, former United States Attorney General John N. Mitchell, and former White House aides H. R. Haldeman and John Ehrlichman, are sentenced to between 30 months and 8 years in prison. Iran and Iraq announce a settlement in their border dispute. The United Nations proclaims International Women's Day. Colonel Richard Ratsimandrava, President of Madagascar, is assassinated. Bobby Fischer refuses to play in a chess match against Anatoly Karpov, giving Karpov the title. The Suez Canal opens for the first time since the Six-Day War. The United Kingdom votes yes in a referendum to stay in the European Community. NBC airs the first episode of Saturday Night Live, with George Carlin as the first host.

The first petroleum pipeline opens from Cruden Bay to Grangemouth, Scotland. The wreck of the HMHS Britannic is found in the Kea Channel by Jacques Cousteau. Victoria, Australia, abolishes capital punishment. Volkswagen introduces the Golf, its new front-wheel-drive economy car, in the United States and Canada as the Volkswagen Rabbit. The video game of the day was Pong.


That was the world you were born into. Since then, you and others have changed it.
The Nobel prize for Literature that year went to Eugenio Montale. The Nobel Peace prize went to Andrei Dmitrievich Sakharov. The Nobel prize for physics went to Aage Bohr, Ben Roy Mottelson and Leo James Rainwater from Denmark and the United States for the discovery of the connection between collective motion and particle motion in atomic nuclei and the development of the theory of the structure of the atomic nucleus based on this connection. The sensation this created was big. But it didn't stop the planets from spinning, on and on, year by year.

Years in which you would grow bigger, older, smarter, and, if you were lucky, sometimes wiser. Years in which you also lost some things. Possessions got misplaced. Memories faded. Friends parted ways. The best friends, you tried to hold on. This is what counts in life, isn't it?

The 1970s were indeed a special decade. Women's liberation continued. The hippie culture faded. There was an opposition to the Vietnam war, and nuclear weapons. The environmentalist movement began. Tom Wolfe coined the decade the "Me decade" due to a new self-awareness. Mao Zedong died and the market began to liberate in China. There was an oil crisis. After the first oil shock, gasoline was rationed in many countries. In Eastern Europe, Soviet-style command economies begin showing signs of stagnation. The Summer Olympics in Munich, Germany, witness the kidnapping and murder of Israeli athletes by Palestinian Arab terrorists. The Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan. The Who, Pink Floyd, The Eagles, Bee Gees, Abba and others play their music. Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison all die at the age of 27. The space mission Apollo 13 nearly ends in disaster. Egypt signed the Egyptian-Israeli peace treaty. There was a revolution in Iran. The world sees its first general microprocessor. The C programming language makes its debut. Consumer video games show up on the scene. Microwave ovens become commercially available. Margaret Thatcher was victorious in the UK elections.

Do you remember the movie that was all the rage when you were 15? Total Recall. Do you still remember the songs playing on the radio when you were 15? Maybe it was How Am I Supposed to Live Without You by Michael Bolton. Were you in love? Who were you in love with, do you remember?

In 1975, 15 years earlier, a long time ago, the year when you were born, the song Fly, Robin, Fly by Silver Convention topped the US charts. Do you know the lyrics? Do you know the tune? Sing along.

Fly, robin fly
Fly, robin fly
Fly, robin fly
Up, up to the sky
Fly, robin fly
Fly, robin fly
Fly, robin fly Up, up to the sky
...
There's a kid outside, shouting, playing. It doesn't care about time. It doesn't know about time. It shouts and it plays and thinks time is forever. You were once that kid.

When you were 9, the movie Gremlins was playing. When you were 8, there was A Christmas Story. When you were 7, there was a Disney movie out called The Fox and the Hound. Does this ring a bell?

6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... it's 1975. There's TV noise coming from the second floor. Someone turned up the volume way too high. The sun is burning from above. These were different times. The show playing on TV is Baretta. The sun goes down. Someone switches channels. There's The Jeffersons on now. That's the world you were born in.

Progress, year after year. Do you wonder where the world is heading towards? The technology available today would have blown your mind in 1975. Do you know what was invented in the year you were born? DNA Sequencing By Chain Termination. The Digital Camera.

I was surprised
I was happy for a day in 1975
I was puzzled by a dream
It stayed with me all day in 1995
...
That's from the song State I Am In by Belle and Sebastian.

In 1975, a new character entered the world of comic books: Colossus. Bang! Boom! But that's just fiction, right? In the real world, in 1975, Charlize Theron was born. And Lauryn Hill. Liv Tyler, too. And you, of course. Everyone an individual. Everyone special. Everyone taking a different path through life.

It's 2011.
The world is a different place.
What path have you taken?

EXPLORING THE WORLD OF DATING

Since living my life as a single person, I have decided to explore the world of dating once again. The reason for this wasn’t entirely to find someone to fill in the empty spot. Instead, I just wanted to experience the world of dating. You see, I married my first love – got engaged after 3 months of dating and tied the knot a year later. I have very little knowledge of how things work in dating. My knowledge was limited to whatever the magic box and my romantic novels fed me.

“As in other journeys in life, this too needed a plan,” I thought. Since my confidence level wasn’t great and I still felt alien to the whole world of mingling and being sociable with the others, I signed up in a dating site. Okay, okay, I will be completely honest – I signed up in 3 dating sites. For the first week, I received at least 5 messages a day. But I did not reply all of them. I took my own sweet time to analyse their profile and only replied to those who I thought were quite appealing to me.

What’s appealing to me? Well honestly, like other females I am very much attracted to a handsome lad with a gorgeous smile. However, my definition of handsome and gorgeousness may differ from the rest of my female clan. Even my daughter makes a habit of criticizing my taste in men. You see, I am very much attracted to men who are intelligent and smart. My definition of handsome guys are those who seem matured and manly. Gorgeous smile refers to the simple, sweet, honest smile. You may think it isn’t difficult to find a nice chap who is intelligent and has a good smile, but based on my experience, I can definitely tell you otherwise.

My first few encounters through the dating site were foreign guys. Thanks to Skype, Yahoo Messenger and MSN, I had the opportunity to share a few pleasant conversations with them. They were very charming, funny and quite attractive. However, after a few weeks, I realised few of them were actually scammers who were looking for financial aids.

One guy named Gerry, who claimed to be a Spain citizen working  in London confessed his love on the second week of our acquaintance and made plans (without even asking me if I felt the same) to migrate to Malaysia. He mentioned about making arrangements with some real estate agents in Kuala Lumpur to purchase a bungalow. All these plans and endless talks about how great our life was going to be actually seemed absurd to me. How in the hell can a person fall in love with someone thousands of miles away, whom they haven’t met in person?

As an intelligent woman myself, I didn’t believe a single thing Gerry said but I did enjoy our conversations, so I just let him continue with whatever bullshit he was saying. Then one fine day, a week before he was supposed to meet me in KL, he told me that he was having difficulty in paying off his workers as his account has been frozen for some reason in Spain and requested if I could wire some RM50k cash to his company in London.

The first thing I did when I received his text message was laugh! Finally what I suspected all along has been proven. So I called him (yes, I made a long distance call to a scammer). I said, “..lo estúpido que cree usted que soy? Lo sentimos, pero usted tiene a la persona equivocada, mi amor..” (thanks to google, now every language is on our finger tips!). To those wondering what that meant: “How stupid do you think I am? I am sorry but you got the wrong person, hunny!” . Guess what was his response? LOL! The moron couldn’t even respond because he did not understand a word I said! So much for someone who claims to be from Spain, eh?

That was the last time I chatted with a foreigner. All my acquaintance after that episode were Malaysians.

That reminds me of Fariz. A bubbly Malay chap who was vibrant, bright, intelligent, sarcastic, funny and very different from the other Malays I have ever met. We chatted for almost a month before deciding to meet. Our first encounter was pleasant and I definitely felt the attraction – not that he was a George Clooney or Gerard Butler, but he had his own unique attraction. After our first date, I received a text from him about what he thought of me. (This is the actual sms I received):

“...A little bit reserved, maybe cos its just the first meet up. Opinionated but not in a negative way. A thinker. I think we can have intelligent conversations together! (or arguments). Errr... You mind if I say you’re quite hot...? I have to think some more – I’m generally not very good at this, especially at this time of night!...”

We continued chatting quite often after that and every time we met, it was always exciting.  We used to talk about politics, religion, movies, gossips and everything that came to mind. Seemed like I found the perfect guy – someone who could be my best friend and at the same time offer me great companionship.

But I guess it was all too good to be true. You see, Fariz’s wife left him because she was a career woman while he was all ready to start a family. After many years persuading her, he too finally gave up and they both got a divorce. So how am I, a woman who has lost the ability to conceive be a good match for this sweet guy? Clearly he must have missed the part in my profile (on the dating site) which clearly states that I do not wish to have kids in future. Well, shit happens. And so I moved on.

I guess as human beings, we have been programmed to have a desire to love and be loved. As such, I too continued seeking. Most of the guys I met after Fariz were either looking for ‘friends with benefits’, or were really into this dating game, looking to find a life partner. I wasn’t interested in neither. I am no saint but I am just not the kinda gal who would sleep around. And I wasn’t really ready to make the same mistake I did before by tying the knot like there was no tomorrow.

Once, I met a politician (he lost in the last election). He was much older (and shorter) than me. I remember him very well because he was the only one who dare grab my hand on our first date. Besides that, he would drive different cars (with single digit car registration number) whenever we met. He talked big about his company and his other businesses. I thought he was trying too hard to impress me, so I did a little investigation and found out the guy was actually telling the truth – he was a big shot after all. Soon, he requested to meet my parents and planned for our vacations together. At this point, I could almost see red lights blinking everywhere!

Perhaps he thought all ladies are the same. Show them a little bling-bling and they would drool all over you! Well, excuse me, I ain’t no bitch who would go gugu-gaga to dollar sign. Plus he honestly sucked at conversations. All he says is ‘Cakaplah...suara you manis dan sedap di dengar. Cakaplah...I suka dengar suara you. Cakaplah...’. Tired of talking non-stop like a newsreader, I decided to call it a quit. But the dude wasn’t ready to let go! For weeks he stalked me at my condo (a word of advice: NEVER let a guy send you home on a first date, he can by all means turn out to be a lunatic!) and called/texted me endlessly.

Next was a guy who travelled most of his life. He wanted to find someone who made him feel like home. Upon learning that we both shared many similarities, I decided to meet him.  Though he looked 10 years older than his profile picture, it didn’t really bother me because he still looked good and he had so many stories to share with me. He could talk and talk and talk and talk endlessly. The bad news was he wasn’t interested in anything I had to say. Every time I wanted to share my views, he would cut me off. Weirdly enough, instead of me refusing to go out on another date with him, he made it clear he wasn’t interested anymore. I guess the fact that I was much, much taller than him bruised his ego (and I wasn’t even wearing my heels!).

Then there was another charming dude, a single father. He was very cheeky and funny. We chatted for almost 2 weeks but never got to meet face to face. You see, at this point, I wasn’t desperate to find a man. I was more interested to keep the ball rolling and have fun along the way. So I was in no pressure to appear delightful or to giggle at every stupid joke a guy makes. I was practically being my true self.

Well, anyway, as we were chatting as we usually do, he asked me what I was doing and I told him I was updating my Facebook status. Then he started to lecture me about FB being used by Jews to mess with Muslims mind. I explained to him that even tv or laptop can mess with our minds if we let it - it all depends on how disciplined we are. However, he continued making rather idiotic remarks about how Muslims should adhere to the fatwas as decided by the Malaysian mufti and failing to do so can be considered a sin. So I asked him if he smokes. He said yes. “How can you consider yourself a true Muslim if you smoke when our mufti has clearly declared fatwas that says smoking for Muslims is equivalent to suicide and such it should be prohibited?” That was the last conversation I had with the hypocrite.

Then there was a businessman from Terengganu who contacted me on behalf of his friend who was apparently a very shy guy. But after a few conversations, he confessed that he liked me and would like to pursue a relationship. Everything looked fine except the fact that he was the same age as my mom and has a wife plus a dozen kids back in Terengganu! Yet, he tried to persuade me into agreeing to a contractual marriage. Sigh. Men!

After a few months, I got tired of dating online. Though I met a few nice chaps and they seem to be interested as well, but the fact that I came with excess baggage (my children) wasn’t something appealing to them. I understand it can be difficult for a man to date a woman with a child (and here I am with 2 kids!) especially when the child is living with the mother. Badabing badaboom – instant family is what they get! That’s a lot to take in especially if the man was only interested in the woman or if he wants to have a little bundle of joy of his own.

I have dated many men who enjoyed my company and would ask me out almost every week -  we would have fun watching movies, dining, shopping or just go for a spin around the city. But after the day out, they would disappear into their own world until it was time to have fun once more. I thought it was quite ridiculous. Forget the fact that we were dating, even as friends, we should always keep in touch even as simple as texting each other asking how ones day was, etc. But to reach out only once a week seem like my role was merely to fill in some empty spot in someone’s weekly planner and I didn’t like that one bit.

“So what’s next?” I asked myself. The crazy personality in me shouted to do something outrages, something totally mad and something I wouldn’t normally do. So I registered in a matchmaking agency, LOL! Now, I wasn’t all out to look for a soul mate. I simply want to explore my singlehood and if ultimately I do find my companion, then that’s fine.

Anyway, back to the matchmaking agency – yes, I did pay them to find me dates. But in this illogical mind of mine, I thought it would be a good investment. You see, the agency only accepts professionals, so I am guaranteed of good men. I signed up for 5 introductions, so dinner with each of them would clearly make a breakeven plus I would end up having good acquaintances. Oh man, was I wrong or what!

The way this matchmaking thingy work is you are not given a picture of the person you shall be seeing. Instead, the agency will find you the best match and inform you of their profile. Upon your agreement, your contact number will be handed over to the guy and vice versa.

The first guy I was supposed to meet was said to be of a mixed race, Muslim guy, has his own business, divorcee, doesn’t have kids and is ok with me having 2 kids. So I was quite excited to meet this dude. But it was a major disappointment when I found out that this guy was actually someone I met before through online dating. Frankly speaking, he was the guy who wanted a goodnite kiss (French style) at the end of our first date. Eager to know how my date went with him? Well, let me put it this way – it would entitle a spot in Malaysian Book of Records as the shortest date ever!

The second guy was a Chinese Muslim who refused to chat on the phone, instead wanted to meet personally. Guess what? The dickhead stood me up! And that’s the end of his story.

The third guy was a Middle East-Caucasian mixed. During our first chat on the phone, he insisted that he wanted to know how I looked like before meeting me in person. So we added each other in our Facebook. He was indeed a darn good looking fellow! Great profile too. He had pictures of him with the Prime Minister, the King and some famous figures in his Facebook photo album.

I guess he must’ve liked what he saw because he called me soon after for a chat. But our chat soon turned out to be a disaster. In the process of getting to know each other, he asked me what my dream was. So I shared the simple dream that I have. Apparently my dream wasn’t good enough for him.

He had the balls to tell me, “Do you call that a dream? Dreams should be something big, something spectacular. How can you call yourself a writer and not be able to have a fantastic dream? You should be creative as a writer and your simple dream doesn’t justify your profession as a writer! Now take my dream for example, I dream of having a huge bungalow on a hilly area with beautiful garden and pool and blablablablabla...”.

I just lost it that day. “Excuse me, it is MY dream. So it is up to me to decide what its gonna be. I can be a writer, I can be the fucking queen but that doesn’t mean I should make up a dream – that is NOT a dream, that is a fantasy,” I said.

But the asshole just couldn’t deal with it. He continued making a big fuss, listing down why my dream isn’t good enough. So to cut things short, I told him to go and suck his own ****. Oh yes I did!

Now, here comes the fourth guy – a Pakistani businessman who owns few shops in Jalan Masjid India. Ok, let me simplify it – no looks, not good in conversation, bad English, bad Malay, bad sense of fashion and smelled like Bangla.

So do you think I would go for my fifth introduction? Well, I called in a day later and requested they freeze my account. I guess I made a total loss! What the heck – shit happens (though it looks like happening a lot to me lately).

As funny as it might seem, the entire episode of dating and meeting people actually made me a better person. I realise my own worth. I realise that I am a special person who shouldn’t be compromising on who I should be with. I deserve someone special. No. I deserve someone fantastic! And if that fantastic someone doesn’t show up on my door step, then it is fine. But I shall not settle for anyone less.

Throughout these dating ordeal, I have learnt a valueable lesson: If you cannot find peace in yourself, it is futile to search for it elsewhere. In other words, if you are looking for absolute fulfilment in another person, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Many start to date for the sake of dating. Dating, in the sense that I have defined it, is an intentional decision utilized to determine romantic possibilities. Anything done out of boredom does not imply a desire to love someone else, but a desire to remove the boredom by using the other person. You may be bored and want to date someone because you have nothing better to do. The person you are on the date with may already be planning the wedding. Feelings have a tendency to spring up when two people spend a lot of time together. If you are with the person for your own comfort, then you are dating for the wrong reasons. Pity and boredom have no place in establishing a dating relationship.

I now have given up dating. But I still find pleasure in meeting people. I just lay my cards on the table and ensure I am not sending false signals to them. I make it clear that friendship is all I can offer for the time being.